We have been through a lot medically with her throughout her life, but this experience has been by far the worst for her and I have never felt so despondent and hopeless. It's the worst thing to watch your child struggle and to be quite frank, try to give up. She told me many times during this past month that she has had enough and wanted it all to end (she is not suicidal in any form. She attends therapy every three weeks and has for over 6 years. She is well equipped with coping skills and understanding emotions and how to process and speak what she is feeling). I am going to be brutally honest now; I actually completely understood her desire. For the first time ever, I truly understood in a way I never imagined I could or would. Of course I told her she had to continue to fight and rise above this, but I also felt such a peace about not wanting to watch your loved one struggle in agony. It's the cold hard truth, but I have faith that we will get though this. After all, this is the journey that God has led us to and all we can do is trust Him.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that she had a major Spinal Fusion surgery on September 29th, which she is also still recovering from. The surgery had nothing to do with the above (we know this because we were monitoring her labs and watching her closely), but she has been dealt a double whammy.
It's never easy to document the struggles of life, but there is always a ray of sunshine in the mix, you just have to find it. Some are readily visible, like these photos, and others are not so easy to uncover, but they are there.
I am sorry. You are here to see my take on the newest sketch from The Memory Nest- Make it Monday No. 76. :) I just felt compelled to share a bit of the struggle that we are facing now, and in doing so it is a part of the healing process.
I apologize in advance about the horrible quality of these photos. Ashlyn's hospital room was kept dark and I did not use a flash. (Not to mention I was crying with joy and wasn't concerned with the quality of any photos.) Thankfully an online friend lightened them up for me after I posted them on fb, so I used her enhanced images. <3 nbsp="" p="">
I used the October Felicity Jane kit to create this layout.