It is so hard to have a child away at boot camp. I feel so incomplete. Sad. Lonely. Stressed. Worried. Helpless. I find myself blinking back tears over the silliest little things. Our family feels broken somehow, even though it's not... we are just missing links. This is her "hell week" and I can do nothing but pray that she is faring well. I have come to treasure Wednesdays when there is a letter from her in the mail. I cry tears of joy and sadness before I even open the letter and then I savor it, rereading it over and over until I have it memorized. I carry them in my purse when I am not home, and at home they follow me from room to room. All I have of my baby girl are these cherished words. I feel like I am crazy for doing this, but I suppose it's my way of coping. I feel inadequate as I haven't had time to sit down and write her a letter in over a week. I have sent a few cards with encouragement, but nothing substantial. I have been so busy with work and schooling that I have hardly had time to breathe... and when I do have time I want to be in the moment, not in sadness, but doing something to clear my mind and be creative. I know she's safe and in good hands. I also know that she is lonely and not having a good time. I know she treasures my words, as I do hers. I just hope she understands as I do when she writes just a little. She's in my heart and on my mind 24/7 and that has to be enough sometimes.
Wow... I didn't intend to write all that, but it just poured out, so I will leave it. ;)
Here is a card I made for her last week. She had bronchitis and was feeling even more down due to the fact that she was confined to quarters for 3 days. I hope her spirits were lifted when she received this. I used some
SRM Stickers for the sentiments:
Sticker Sentiments- Thinking of You 51006. These just made it so easy to create a perfect card for any occasion. The papers are Scenic Route, the butterflies are Stampin' Up!, and the bling is Kaiser Craft. I used a premade card, but I am not sure of the MF.
I have been wanting to make a layout of these pics, but all I could ever manage was to push them around. I finally committed and just went with it. I had to get it done because it was starting to haunt my creativity. lol My intention was for it to be light and airy, and it turned out a bit 'heavier" than I wanted, but I like it overall. After many paper choices I decided to use these fun and pretty papers and chipboard from Fancy Pants Designs (which I hoard and needed to dig into).
Well, that's it for tonight. It's been a long week and I am ready for some downtime. Maybe I'll write Kara a letter tonight. :)
understandable for sure...maybe you should take a picture of your blog post to show her later so she will know how you felt. And remember, a goody box of treats is a good way to show her you miss her too! When I was in the military (way long time ago) it was a big deal to get a box to share with my buddies.
ReplyDelete